lllegal Durians: How Much Trouble Will You Really Get In?

I think the first thing I learned about durian is that it’s banned in public spaces because of it’s supposedly foul odor.

That’s usually the first thing Westerners learn about durian. A fruit that is not allowed on buses, trains or in hotels has a certain shock factor, a fact that most journalists disclose in their “hook” or lead-in.

But how much trouble will you really get in for sneaking a little creamy fruit on the subway, a bus, or a hotel? I took the trouble to find out.

This is the famous sign making the rounds on most media stories about durian.

Singapore MRT

It’s from the Singapore subway, and while it’s clear that you shouldn’t be munching a packet of Musang King while staring at the sign, does anybody else notice something strange?

The sign doesn’t actually say what the fine is for durian.

It’s a clear $1,000 SGD fine for smoking on the subway.

Taking flammables on the train is the worst offense, with a fine of $5,000 SGD.

But the fine for durian is blank. What does that mean?

No durians on the Penang bus

Breaking The Rules

The first time I noticed this I was standing in the Singapore subway with a packet of D24 wrapped, rewrapped, and buried under a t-shirt in my backpack.

I was terrified someone was going to smell my prize. What was going to happen to me? I was in a country where people get fined $500 SGD for not flushing the toilet.

At this point, I had experience breaking the durian taboo. I’d transported durian home on Bangkok’s MRT from Khlong Toei market. When I fed elephants durian at Kuala Gandah, I rode the sky train and a public bus with three kampungs in my backpack.

Just recently, I’d transported my $300 Nonthaburi durian all the way from Bangkok to Penang on the Thailand train.

So I’ve never been as ballsy as this Swedish couple who took a whole durian on an airplane and ate it on their tray tables, but I’ve broken the rules a lot without ever knowing the real consequences and I knew that at some point I would run out of luck.

I partly wanted to find out the truth for myself, and partly because I noticed that the media can’t seem to decide how much you get fined for bringing durian on the subway either.

That’s how you get great articles like “This Thai Dessert Could Get You Fined” that quotes the fine as $500 (one option from the Singapore sign), despite the fact that Thailand uses baht (and, as we shall see later, won’t fine you anything).

To find out what kind of legal fire I was playing with, so I wrote to the Singapore Ministry of Transportation, who were kind enough to write me back.

Just for good measure, I also called Bangkok Metro.

Other Stinky Fruits

One think you’ll notice if you hang around Asia long is that durian is not the only fruit banned in hotels or transportation.

Stinky fruits are relatively common in the tropics. If you think about the tree’s whole goal in producing fruit – attracting animals to spread it’s seed – the idea isn’t so weird. The fruit just might not have evolved for human noses.

If my dog has taught me anything it’s that smell is in the nose of the beholder.

These fruits are delicious, but it’s the ones that can be smelled as far as 1 kilometer away that you don’t want crammed in with you and 50 other sweaty people in a can on wheels.

Jackfruits and cempedaks are often unwelcome, as is a delicious relative called Terap. I’ve even seen signs prohibiting mangoteens in hotels.

Just this weekend, a maid at the Brunei Hotel quietly disposed of my wild mangoes because she decided they were too smelly.

Yet somehow durian is the only fruit that has gained infamy around the world for it’s odor.

So how severe is the punishment for taking durian where it doesn’t belong?

Illegal durians in Singapore

Here’s what I wrote to the Ministry of Transport:

Me: Riding on the MRT, I couldn’t help but notice that there is no fine listed for bringing durian on board. Is there a fine? If not, why is there no fine? If someone were to bring a durian on board, what would be the consequences?

My message was transferred to the SMRT Coproration’s Custom Relations, who was prompt in their reply.

We wish to share that there is currently no regulation governing durians on
board trains and in stations.

However, we have in place signs throughout our
stations to advise passengers not to bring durians into the system. Should
staff notice passengers carrying durians, they will advise them to consume or
dispose of the fruit before entering the station.

That sounded very polite and reasonable. And I was relieved to find that there was no punishment for bringing durian on board.

But  I wanted to know more. Let’s just say, theoretically speaking, a very hardcore durian fan purposefully smuggled durian into the train and got caught? What would happen to me this theoretical person who obviously has a bit of a problem?

While I was quaking in my sandals in that Singapore MRT station, I had nothing to fear. If someone had caught a whiff of my durian and complained, a member of the staff would have politely asked me to dispose of it.

And since I’m from America where you could tased for lesser digressions, I would have meekly eaten it on the spot.

That’s not so scary.

Bangkok MRT

But if there’s no fine for durian in even fine-happy Singapore, is their a fine for durian anywhere? What about Bangkok? Otherwise where do titles like “This Thai Dessert Could Get You Fined” come from?

At the entrance to every MRT Station in Bangkok there is a sign with a long list of things you can’t do or bring with you.

There’s also a very polite man or woman at the entrance who occasionally asks you to unzip your bag so they can peer into it for approximately 5 seconds.

We’ve never been caught. We’re so naughty.

But I wanted to know what would happen if we did get caught, so I called the Bangkok Metro (phone number here).

“There is no fine for durian,” the woman stated flatly, “but durian is not allowed. There is a sign at the entrance.

“Yeah, but what if someone tried to take durian anyway?” Like, um, me?

“The guard at the entrance will not allow,” she replied like it was obvious.

“Yeah, but what if someone put it in the bottom of their backpack to hide it and someone smelled it on the train?”

“If customer complain, they can call to our staff who will take away the durian,” she replied. “Do you have any other question?”

I guess not.

Taxi in Bangkok

Where You Will Get Fined For Durian

As far as I know, the only place you can actually  incur a fine for bringing durian on the premises is your hotel.

Not all hotels have a problem with durian. I’ve eaten durian in my room or even shared with hotel staff in more hotels than I can count.

I’ve even stayed in hotels that kept durian stockpiled behind the desk in the reception (Awesome!)
But NO DURIANS signs are very common.

If someone does smell your durian, the staff will politely remind you of their policy and ask you to remove the durian from the premises. Only the most swanky hotels will actually charge you for a “cleaning fee,” similar to if you violated a no smoking policy in the USA.

So don’t stay at swanky hotels and you don’t have to worry about getting fined for durian.

Actually, I think the only country we didn’t see NO DURIANS signs posted was the Philippines, which instead had a crazy number of very cool statues celebrating durian. This one captures the magic moment of group of friends sharing a durian.

Filipinos really get durian.

Conclusion

So maybe durian isn’t exactly illegal in the usual sense and there aren’t any serious legal consequences if you do decide to bring durian onto a bus or train.

The risk you run is pissing people off, because bringing a durian where it shouldn’t be just isn’t polite.

Bringing a stinky durian onto a crowded subway is like forcing everyone to stand next to someone wearing far too much perfume or a hippie who hasn’t showered in a week in order to conserve water.

Not illegal, but annoying.

So try not to make other people suffer. If you’re going to break the rules, be considerate and smart. Contain the durian  stink as best as you can. That way, no one suffers and you won’t get caught.

Concealing durian odor is actually fairly easy, as long as you aren’t transporting a lot and it isn’t overripe. Multiple layers of wrapped and sealed plastic usually does the trick. If your durian has been removed from the shell, a plastic container that seals well and several ziplock baggies will make sure that odor stays where you want it.

But if you do get caught, just hand it over. Or better, transport it already inside your stomach.